Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize