Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
