forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
