Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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