It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what day is it and did you see me today?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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