he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
