dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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