People with herpes should wear stickers.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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