So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize