Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
