Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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