We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
