Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
