forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
