end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why is half of my head shaved?
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