They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
