I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
