He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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