you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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