I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
