Do you still have your period?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
