At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
