i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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