He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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