Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
