Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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