Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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