The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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