he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
