He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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