Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my vagina is haunted
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
