I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize