There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
