The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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