WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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