4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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