She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
