Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
