i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
