How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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