summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
