after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
