The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
