hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
