Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
