i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
