Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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