Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
