I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
