Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
