like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
