can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
