I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
