I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
COCAINE IS GR8
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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