So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
