just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
