More tranny stories later!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
