This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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