great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
