I never want to see another naked old woman again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
