If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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