Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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