so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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