I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When did angry sex become our thing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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