So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
