Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
